Baby Bird Time

fighting imposter syndrome one blog post at a time

Month: June 2013

The beginning continues

Since I can’t really tell anyone else yet*, I’ll tell you, Internet.

Foster care open house Thursday! I was going to have to work, because I’d already said I’d work late for a rental client… But they cancelled. Is this coincidence? idk but I’m excited.

 

The Beginning

There are days when I am able to channel my mild oppositional defiant disorder into good. Impossible House day was one of them. The day before yesterday, I had another one. I wish I’d recorded some of the others, but I didn’t, because earlier this year all I did was be cold and cry. Although on Impossible House day (week, weeks, whatever) it went hand in hand with being cold and crying.

And in the immediate aftermath of “You Can’t Sit WIth Us” Pastor, I finally got my act together and picked up my phone. I never get any great insights or directions about now is the time, I just eventually get a burst of productivity and start doing things, and then it works out. I ended up at Cedarville in a window of awesome, I made myself stay at Starbucks until I wrote a mediocre cover letter, and the timing was right, andΒ so far this has worked for me.

So I called the local foster parent coordinator. And then I went online and filled out information request forms for literally every agency on the Columbus website referral list. I’m not sure this is the way you’re supposed to do it, because it isn’t applying for colleges, but that was how I did it. I then got a barrage of emails and a lot of promises of packets in the mail. And after I’d made sure to put the responsibility of contacting me on the agencies, because I knew I wouldn’t remember to do it, I started getting to know more about them. I found one that I am leaning towards, because the location is not as awful, and because the training schedule fits my schedule better, and because feelings.

But I spoke with a guy from another agency, who emailed first and then called to follow up (A++ would request info again). The phone had a horrible echo, so I had to listen to myself say everything I said about a half-second after I said it, which I think made the conversation more awkward. He asked what had gotten me interested in foster parenting/adoption and I rambled something incoherent. We talked about age groups and licensing and the process and he was helpful, and he asked what ages I was thinking about. I said something like, “IDK, my only real concern is my own age because I am not so old” and he essentially told me that it wasn’t necessarily a problem. And he told me cautiously, “just something to think and process through.” Because bless him. He was doing all the right things and keeping my level of commitment low and cautious. Which is sensible and practical. But I bought an impulse house. Either I jump in and overcommit from the start, or I sit on my couch watching Netflix for three months and never get anything done. But as far as age groups — if y’all don’t care, I don’t care. Send me your teenagers. And your sibling groups. The things I thought I wanted are never the things I need. The things I thought were impossible weren’t. I don’t want to dictate what this should look like.

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