I’ve got two ideas competing (or not – perhaps they are working hand in hand) for my ability to hyperfocus and fixate on them.

a disclaimer:
guys, it’s spring
and I have coffee

FIRST! I want to start a blog. I know, I know. How many times. So many times. Except this time it’s real. I sound like a lovestruck teenager. THIS ONE’S REAL. No, but seriously, this one is. This one’s paid for. I spent actual money. More than I wanted! And I have feeeeeelings. Just this overwhelming drive and rightness, like okay, it’s time.

Which has meant that I’ve done some messing around here and there, and I’ve got two full pages of post titles. I haven’t bothered to actually write any of them beyond throwing down a title to remind myself, but! Baby steps! I’ve signed up for mailing lists, yo! I’ma check out books from the library! I WAS BORN TO DO THIS! etc etc

SECOND! I really want a doctorate, but I can’t have one because I’m poor and lazy, and my main reasons for wanting one are when pre-friendโ„ข told the story of her kid’s IEP meeting in which she was getting angry, said she needed to step outside for a minute, took a break, and came back and said, “I’m going to need to ask you to call me doctor.”

And that is what I want. I want to be able to say exactly that and also be like, well, I did my dissertation on xyz thing and now you will listen to me.

But see above: lazy and also: poor.

So I found another master’s program. I even considered another bachelor’s, just to be able to say “I have a degree in this real subject” and not youth ministry, but bachelor’s programs are way too much work. I found a master’s program in early childhood education with a specialization in trauma.And while it’s not my dream program, it’s potentially free and it’s online. And it provides me with the main things I want, which are guided graduate level study in early childhood trauma, and more importantly, a credential to throw around when the school system tries to get sassy.