How can you post the things you post if your children are in foster care?

My kids’ adoption was legalized in June 2016. The earlier posts were pulled from a private journal I kept and backdated to provide some sort of consistent timeline. Though I was really inconsistent in journaling, so it may not be a very good one.


I’m interested in becoming a foster parent and/or adopting, how do I begin?

Shhh. There, there. Come close. Listen. I will tell you a secret:

Go to the Google.

Here is a brief story about how I chose my foster agency. It worked for me. It may not work for you. I’m still getting emails from some of the agencies I contacted. I actually wrote back to one the other day because I am desperate for human contact. The recruiter and I tried to out-polite each other:

Me: Thanks so much for your email! I just wanted to let you know you can take me off your list as I am licensed with another agency and recently adopted. I hope your event goes well!

Recruiter: Thanks so much for letting me know! We manually send emails so I sincerely apologize if you receive any more in the future!

Me: No problem at all! I just thought I would let you know and I hope your event is awesome and all the parents show up and everyone gets licensed and no one is crazy and people eat the food you provide and do you enjoy having coworkers because I don’t have any can you tell? CAN YOU TELL.


I don’t think I can become a foster parent for [insert reason]!

Come here. Shhhhh. The Google. Go. It will guide you.


You’re sharing too much/not enough! This blog is the worst!

Let me tell you something I am practicing. I am practicing it very hard.

I don’t care.

I don’t care anymore. I can’t keep caring about this. If I screw up this blog, as I will inevitably do at some point, oh well. I can’t live this way. I don’t know how to balance what I say and don’t say but this is kind of my thing. I need to say things. I will try to be kind and I will try to be honest, and if I err too far one way or the other, there’s an edit button and I’ll try again in the future. I have too many words and too few outlets, and I’ve tried not blogging so now I need to try something new. Because this, all of this — whatever this even is — is not working. I need something to do. I need to tell some of our stories. I get to be the one that tells them now and that was exactly what I wanted for so long. So I’m doing it, and I’ll do the best I can, and when I mess it up I’ll delete it and start over. And maybe the internet is forever, but you have to get some amount of traffic to end up on the Wayback Machine, and I’m not really at the risk of that happening at the moment.



Cool, maybe go start a blog about all the things you don’t do! We’re talking about me right now, okay? I paid for this webspace. Okay. Good talk.

For the record, you could do what you had to do for your kids. That’s it. And there’s nothing flattering or helpful about saying otherwise. Maybe you would end up in therapy at the end of it. Maybe you would cry a lot until you had no emotions left. Maybe you would grind your teeth to nothing, maybe you would eat ice cream every day, maybe you would binge at Baby Gap too often. Maybe you would cope however you could, but you would do it.


When does my Apple Music subscription end?

I have no idea but I feel like it should have before now, and yet it goes on and on.


Am I being charged?

Again no idea, why won’t my student account verify why do we live in the future, why????? so difficult


Who are you to say [insert thing]?

HEY WHAT’S UP IMPOSTER SYNDROME I see you there. You earned a spot in my tag line and apparently that wasn’t enough. I’ll tell you exactly who I am, I’m the person WHO BOUGHT SOME WEBHOSTING and now I get to say words with it.

Also I have some degrees and a lot of good intentions.